His name was Bilious Green and if he was skulking around, then it was a cinch that Hideous Pink wasn't far away. They'd been dogging me for days, ever since I told our boss, Runny Palette, that I wasn't going to tout his numbers no more.

Bilious was a slob - his marking was as sloppy as his clothes and his personal hygiene was in the same class. Hideous always dressed in bright scarlet, which matched his whiskey-blown features to a T; he was scum, but at least he knew it. Bilious was scum as well, but the difference was, he thought he was real bright. I used to feel sorry for him ... until he stuck that shiv in my neck.

I'd woke up in hospital with Misty Mauve peering anxiously down at me from behind a cloud of cheroot-smoke. 'You gonna live?' She'd puffed out enough smog to make the guy in the next bed cough.

'Guess so.'

'Great ... ya rent's due.'

Misty was Runny's girl but she liked me better. We'd had a fling for a while; more a half-hearted toss if the truth be told, but it was fun while it lasted. Hideous found out somehow, the little weasel and told Runny, so ... now I had two scores to settle: one with Hideous for narking on me and the other with Bilious for trying to fillet my tonsils.

Luckily for me, the blade had missed everything vital - about par for Bilious' standard of thuggery - and I'd been kicked out of my nice warm bed after just three days. Which was why I was strolling along Aubergine Boulevard at six in the morning with Runny's boys closing in on me. I reckon they must've been a mite annoyed when I dodged through Russet's and headed straight for my ex-boss's hideout.

'Mornin', Runny!'

'Ah ... Red ...' That was as much as he got out before I shot him. I could of aimed for his chest I suppose, but I thought his three chins were a more tempting target. He gurgled for a while, but he'd twitched his last twitch before the smoke cleared. I pushed him to the floor and settled back into the stained leatherette swivel-chair. Hideous and Bilious would come charging in any second and I didn't want to miss 'em, now did I.

[to be continued]